Vivian visited the non-descript strip mall off Glenoaks Boulevard in Burbank to sit down with his eminence, Máurso, the God of War, and the Dáumo of the preeminent Dáu Xhà on earth.
Situated between a ubiquitous red-and-yellow Maxie Mart and a nail salon, the God of War Dáu Xhà is plain and unassuming; I’d never imagine that this was where some of the greatest Coaugelus in the Alliance trained.
Máurso met me at the front, standing before two glass cabinets displaying an amazing array of awards. To be honest, Máurso is frightening. He’s at least nine feet tall, his body made of a knot of muscle and he has coal dark eyes that seem to bore into your soul.
“I am, you know, lassie.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Reading your soul, checking to see if you are worthy to be here.”
Viv: “And if I’m not worthy?”
Máurso: “You’ll combust and burn to a crisp.”
Viv: “Um…”
Máurso (gruffly): “You’re okay, I suppose.”
Viv: “Suppose?”
Máurso: “I can tell you mean well, but you appear skittish. I don’t like skittish people.”
Viv: I’m scared of my own shadow, to be frank.
Máurso: “Aye, you should train with me.”
Viv: “I’m not coordinated enough.” And, if to prove my point, I drop my phone and purse and then lean forward to pick it up but trip over myself.
Máurso stares down at me: “Aye, I can see you’re not meant to study Xem Sen Ou.”
Viv: “Just a humble archivist, you know.”
Ten minutes later we are seated in Máurso’s office, a cheery room painted yellow, with inspirational posters lining the walls featuring cats in trees, slinking on the grass, lounging in the sun with statements underneath reading: Hang in There! Find Your Dreams! Bask in Your Glory!
Máurso leans into a faux leather chair behind a long desk holding a tabby cat in his lap while a black cat balances on his shoulders squeezing its eyes at me. Its making me nervous, is it warning me of something? I can’t figure it out.
Viv: What is it like being an Immortal?
Máurso: Busy. I hardly have time to myself. I am usually here training the best and brightest Coaugelus or out in the field assisting the League with logistics and offering advice and guidance to the Agécendrus. Mentoring, you know? How to slay a particularly obstinate and murderous monster, yeah? Other times I have to act as an intermediary between Magicals and the paper pushers in London when a rule may have been broken or ignored. Those wankers like rules to be followed but sometimes that’s not possible and I have to go and lay down the law!
Viv: I notice you have a lot of cats roaming around the Dau Xha and here with you. Are you a cat person?
Máurso: Aye, I love cats. Did you know they are the only creature beside humans who kill for sport? And they are so soft and cuddly and cute! And yet, in a blink of an eye they can slay you! (Máurso laughs, building shakes violently) Sorry, to frighten you, Lass. Besides cats I love birds and butterflies and puppies. I’m an animal lover, I’m afraid. Who would think? Aye?
Viv: Yes, I’m certainly surprised. Next question, do you consider yourself a success?
Máurso: Do you doubt I’m a success? Okay, you don’t have to answer that, lass. My father is Cupidero, the leader of the Immortals, the Sun God and he pushed me to be the best I can be. I take pride in my work. Training, crafting the strategy of war, presiding over battles and hand-to-hand combat. Without me, the Alliance wouldn’t be as strong as it is. I take no prisoners, ha.
Viv: As long as the front doors are open when this interview is over, I’m okay with that. Next question: What advice would you give to someone starting out?
Máurso: Set goals for yourself. Where do I want to be in a week, a month, a year? How do I accomplish my goals? Training? Education? Tools? This helps you figure out how to get where you want to go. Be determined! And patient too. It takes time to accomplish what you want. And never give up. When you fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going! You will succeed if you give it your all.
Viv: How do you push through your worst times?
Máurso: Frankly, I am an emotional eater. Hot Dogs, Churros, Dim Sum. And, to be honest, when I’m angry I tend to destroy things. Yeah, I might have caused the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco. Oops. But I learn from my mistakes and try to grow as an Immortal. And, I’ve taken some anger management classes at the local community college. No more causing earthquakes for me!
Viv: That’s certainly good to hear! Moving on, what keeps you up at night?
Máurso: Monsters lurking throughout LA wanting to harm and hurt ordinaries. Other times I worry about all the cats of the world. Are they being fed properly? Are they being loved? And sometimes I wake up in a panic worrying that mortals will phase out hot dogs. Mortals are so into health foods and well hot dogs aren’t the healthiest food….
Viv: Have you tried hot dogs made from wheat grass?
Máurso: Would you like to see me get angry?
Viv: I’ll take that as a no. Okay, next what personality trait should every leader have?
Máurso: Strength. You have to be strong to lead a team through challenges. A sense of humor helps too. Want to hear a joke, yeah?
Viv: I’m scared.
Máurso: Whenever you get a bad sausage, it's just the wurst. Get it?
Viv: (rolls eyes) Oh, my.
Máurso: You liked it, I can tell.
Viv: I’d lie if I didn’t. Finally, Máurso, what is something our readers might not know about you?
Máurso: I tell funny jokes. All the time. Right?
Viv: Sure. And thanks, Máurso!
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